Her Dying Wish
by sue-sylvester-shuffle
Summary: (Takes place after chapter 35.) Doll's thoughts and emotions as she lays dying in front of Ciel and Sebastian. Slight Ciel/Doll.


It all happened so fast that Doll didn't even have time to fathom what was going on.

One minute, she was on the ground, engulfed in agonizing sorrow so deep it felt like she was being strangled by a thousand ropes. The next, her woe had turned abruptly to anger and she was on her feet, pulling out a dagger and running at Smile- no, at _Ciel Phantomhive. _

And the next… she was on the ground again. The pain was back, but this time it felt… different. Doll wasn't sure why, until she saw the pool of crimson that was forming around her at an alarming rate. Black- no, Ciel had called him _Sebastian_- was peeling off one of his gloves. It was soaked with blood, up to his elbow.

Doll looked up, but her vision was sliding in and out of clarity. "But… Smile." she whispered, although her mouth was full of blood. She knew deep down that this was _not _the Smile she knew and loved, but this Ciel Phantomhive shared the same face, albeit much colder and… _emptier._

"That isn't my name." Ciel said icily.

"'Twas."

"It was a false name. A circus persona. Just like your real name is not Doll."

"I _am _Doll." she persisted. "I've… I've been Doll so long… I can't r-remember m'old name."

"You've been living a lie, then." Ciel growled. He looked up at Sebastian. "Come, Sebastian. Let's go."

Just as the butler turned his back, Doll called out, "Ye lied m-more."

Sebastian stopped in his tracks. Ciel hopped out of his arms and walked back over to the freckled girl. Doll braced herself for him to kick her, but he simply stood over her. She took her chance, and continued on. "I thought… I thought we were _friends_."

"You thought wrong." Ciel replied quietly. "I don't have any _friends._"

He took a step back, and there was a soft _crack. _Confused, the earl raised his foot and picked up what he'd stepped on.

It was a candy- a caramel lollipop that had fallen out of Doll's bag when she had taken out her dagger. Doll bit her lip at the sight of it, as memories of them sharing the same candy before rushed back to her. Caramel had been his favourite. She had been saving this one for him.

Fresh tears ran down her face, and she lowered her head, pressing her forehead to the dirt. It was all over. To think that her beloved Smile was the one to have all of her friends killed- and, ultimately, Doll herself as well- was enough to make the young, freckled girl welcome the death that loomed over her.

Just then, she felt something touch her head. Small, childlike fingers played with her light brown hair. Although it hurt like all hell, Doll raised her head again. Ciel had knelt down next to her. His heterochromic eyes stared right into her one good, blue eye. He was holding the broken lollipop in one of his hands.

"Th-That was for ye." she managed, although her voice was faint and weak. More blood was dribbling down her chin now, forming a little red patch on the ground to match the pool that had formed around her limp body.

"Thank you." He tucked it carefully into one of the pockets of his coat.

"An'... I know ye said ye didn't have any friends." Doll went on. "That's fine. I don't care what ye thought of me. But I just wanted to say that ye… ye were one of my best friends. An' I know I only knew ye for a little while, but…"

Her voice faltered, as a wave of exhaustion rushed over her. _Just give in, Doll, _a little voice in her head whispered soothingly.

It sounded like Joker.

Ciel grabbed one of the girl's bloody hands and squeezed it tightly. His expensive-looking black glove was soaked in seconds, but he did not seem to notice. "Sebastian!" cried the earl, looking up at his butler.

Sebastian did not move, and the cold, slightly disdainful look on his face did not waver. "There's nothing I can do for her now, young master."

"Liar! You have to do _anything _I ask you to do_, _you dev-"

"Stop… Smile." Doll whispered, managing a small, quivering smile even though her face was a mess of blood and tears, and her whole body hurt so bad that she thought she would throw up. However, the sharp pain was slowly but surely ebbing away, and she knew that she was ebbing away, too. There wasn't much time left. "It's okay. I… I'm gonna g… get to see Jo… Joker and the others soon."

A tranquil yet sombre expression spread across the boy's pale face. He nodded. "That's right."

"Yeah. An'… I d-don't know why y-ye did this… don't k-know what ye are doin' with the Yard… but please. Don't forget… yer j-just a kid. Just l-like the ones back at the ware… the warehouse, where we l-lived. Save 'em. P… Please, Smile. D-Don't let _this-_" Doll gestured at herself, at the mess of blood all around her. "-happen to… to them. Th… They'll die without yer help."

Ciel nodded slowly, and a little uncertainly. "…Alright."

Doll wasn't entirely sure if he would keep his word, for she knew first-hand that he had broken promises before, but she hoped that this would seem important enough to him. After all, the lives of countless orphaned children were on the line, and besides, it was her dying wish. If he ever really cared about her at all- which she wasn't sure if he had- he would do it.

It was worth a try. It wasn't like he had a shortage of room in his mansion, after all.

Doll's eyes fluttered. Joker's voice was in her mind again. _C'mon, Doll, ye are almost there. We're all waiting for ye._

She gave Ciel's fingers the strongest squeeze she could muster, which was barely even a twitch. "Sm… Smile…"

"Doll… please…"

Her vision started to blur and darken. The last thing Doll remembered was seeing a tear roll down from under Ciel's eyepatch- and then everything fell away like leaves in the fall.

end


End file.
